Managing Long Distance Relationships Through Technology

Long distance relationships are not easy to maintain. Where distance separates couples and can make individuals feel lonely at times, the digital age works to bridge that gap. There are so many ways to stay connected with partners and friends through online social media platforms. Besides the typical social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, and Linked In, there is a world of other apps that you can try out with your friends or with your partner!

I want to stress how long distance relationships include not just romantic relationships, but also friendships and in many cases families. In today’s economy families are choosing to move to different countries or different states due to affordability and overall livelihood. This is causing familial distance to grow, in which families must put in more time and effort to communicate with one another. According to an article by Xiaoying Han, there is a concept called ‘co presence’ which “challenges the tendency to privilege physical co-presence and instead suggests that digital media offer families an opportunity to feel a virtual co-presence.” (Han 2025). Through this virtual co-presence, families can maintain their sense of connection while also having a larger sense of individuality. Apps such as facetime, zoom, web ex, or discord allow for individuals to stay connected through visual and audio calls. The visual aspect of these apps can allow for individuals to see the other person in which they are able to read visual cues making deeper conversations meaningful through online forums. 

A reason apps like these came into light was due to the COVID-19 pandemic. With individuals being confined to their households, we all had to get creative with school, work, shopping, and especially connecting with other friends and family members. The pandemic forced us to rely on digital media for outside connections, and while we were relying on them, the social media world was looking for ways to keep ups entertained and connected. In an article by Lidia Manzo, it is stressed that long distance couples during the pandemic, “experienced anxiety, loss of control and stress. However the spatial, emotional, and risk involved in long distance during covid helped couples build and maintain their relationships.” (Manzo, 2023). Even during a time where the entire world seemed disconnected, couples were still able to maintain relationships all thanks to social media. 

When looking at social communication we can examine four domains which can help us understand communication on online social platforms. Louis Keegan introduces us to four domains of social communication, which are, “skills, demands, environment, and identity– each of these domains has an impact on the efficiency and effectiveness of the communicative exchange.” (Keegan et. al, 2024). In this sense, skills refer to physical and neuropsychological abilities. The environment refers to a sociocultural setting or communication dynamics. Demands refer to factors during social exchanges that can be both emotion, internal, or cognitive. Lastly, identity includes one’s sense of self, this includes an individuals’ culture, beliefs, motivations, and values. 

When maintaining long distance relationships, relationship satisfaction in both individuals can determine how much time and effort is put into making the relationship work. Therefore, even if the social media apps are all downloaded, and available for use, it is up to both individuals to put in that effort of actually using them or making time for one another. Relationship satisfaction is “the subjective appraisal of one’s romantic relationships. It depends on the partners’ personality traits and each partner’s perception of their relationship.” (Gauri & Rathee, 2025). Both individuals possess their own attachment style, love language, and communication styles. When maintaining long distance relationships it is important that each partner understands their own as well as their partners styles, to ensure both individuals know what is expected in the maintenance aspect of the relationship. We can examine this under the Relational Maintenance Theory which emphasizes that relationships will always require an ongoing effort from the parties involved. Without effort from both sides, relationships will not succeed in a healthy or positive manner.  In an article by Jessica McLean, the idea of ‘care at a distance’ discusses how, “care at a distance can feel ‘warm’, friendly, intimate and supportive– helping people feel that someone is checking on them and is concerned for their wellbeing.” (McLean et. al, 2024). This emphasizes the importance of checking in on all relationships via social media, and how relationship satisfaction and overall wellbeing can be positively affected by online social communication. 

Now that we’ve covered how communication through social media platforms can help maintain relationships, it’s time to dive into what apps you should download! In an article by Whistle Out, they examine five apps that are great for social media communication. The first of these apps is called, “Signal”. This app resembles traditional text messaging apps, however, privacy and security is their number one priority. This app ensures end-to-end encryption, which allows for data privacy and is safer for sending video messages than instagram and snapchat. As the app is owned by a non-profit foundation that prioritizes security and privacy, this app is well-renowned in the journalism world. The Signal app also allows more individuals to be in a single group chat or video call than traditional message or facetime. 

One thing that has been bringing couples together for centuries is movies and television. With the ‘Wever’ app, you no longer have to worry about missing your favorite shows or trying to perfectly sync up your tv’s over facetime. The ‘Wever’ app acts as a screen sharing system in which individuals are able to watch the same shows or movies as long as one person is streaming. When looking at the Media Richness Theory, we can use the example of the Wever app, as the theory states that some communication channels are richer in others as they have features which allow for verbal and nonverbal communication. Apps like the Wever app thus cultivate environments where conversations are more effective and emotionally meaningful.

A third popular app is called ‘Time Tree’, which is an app that allows you and your partner to sync calendars. While google calendar is most popular for schedule sharing, Time Tree also offers chat rooms, shared to-do lists, and other features. When practicing individualism during long distance periods, apps like Time Tree can help individuals make time for one another.

There are also many apps that help to keep conversations flowing and bring fun into your relationships. The fourth app mentioned is the ‘Paired’ app, which sends daily questions and exercises to help promote intimacy in long distance relationships. This app was made by relationship experts to enable important and meaningful conversations in long distance relationships. The last app to be mentioned on the list is the ‘Plato’ app. This app is filled with online games, and is similar to Apple’s Game pigeon arcade. It’s important for partners to have deep and meaningful conversations to help relationship development, however partners should not forget to just have fun sometimes! The Plato app is an online arcade app designed for a fun time with one another. While these five apps are suggested to maintain long distance relationships, there are probably hundreds of other apps that you can find. At the end of the day, social media helps us connect with one another to help us find our virtual communities, and to keep in touch with our friends, families, and significant others. 

Discussion Questions

1. Can you truly have deep emotional intimacy through virtual communication platforms? 
2. Do you think apps and other digital tools actually strengthen relationships? Or do they just help manage them? 
3. Which apps, not mentioned, do you use to help maintain your relationships with others? 

References

Gauri, & Rathee, N. (2025). Role of Trust, Relationship Satisfaction and Parental Perception in Attachment Styles. Indian Journal of Health & Wellbeing, 16(3), 526–533.

Han, X. (2025). Being Family Via WeChat: Children’s Interpretation of Long‐Distance Family Relationships. Children & Society, 39(1), 286–303. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1111/chso.12912

Keegan, L. C., Hoepner, J. K., Togher, L., Kennedy, M., Bogart, E., Brunner, M., & MacDonald, S. (2025). Social Communication Implementable and Applicable Lens: A Framework for Addressing Assessment of Social Communication. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 34, 1589–1607. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1044/2025_ajslp-24-00121

Manzo, L. K. C. (2023). Love in the Time of COVID-19: How Couples Stayed “At Home” During the First Lockdown in Italy. Social & Cultural Geography, 24(3/4), 428–446. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1080/14649365.2022.2130417

McLean, J., Southerton, C., & Lupton, D. (2024). Young People and TikTok Use in Australia: Digital Geographies of Care in Popular Culture. Social & Cultural Geography, 25(5), 795–813. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1080/14649365.2023.2230943

Santero, J. (2026, February 10). The 5 Best Apps For Long-Distance Couples. Whistle Out. https://www.whistleout.com/CellPhones/Guides/best-apps-for-long-distance-relationships