Interpersonal relationships are a vital component to our overall mental health and personal wellbeing. When we find people who have gone through similar experiences, who have similar interests, or who we want to learn more about, we build a significant bond that fosters long lasting relationships. While we do need some personal time every now and then, social belonging/love is a part of our everyday needs and functions as one of the main components on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If these human needs go unmet, individuals can often feel a sense of depression, lack of motivation, as well as a severe decline in mental health and overall wellbeing. There is extensive research that suggests, “good-quality relationships can enhance well being for young people, and their absence over the longer-term is associated with loneliness and reduced satisfaction.” (Benham-Clarke, 2023). This highlights the need for interpersonal romantic relationships, and friendships, in order to feel fully motivated to live our lives to the best of our ability. As humans we will always need connection, whether this be through interpersonal relationships or simple interpersonal scenarios we may face on a daily basis.
The importance of relationships and friendships allows us to find emotional comfort and safety. When looking at the Self-Determination Theory (SDT) we find that, “basic psychological need satisfaction serves as a crucial environment factor promoting individual mental health and positive development.” (Zhao, 2025). The SDT highlights the need for autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which all play significant roles in our interpersonal relationships. This basic need drives us to maintain relationships that allow us companionship. We can find companionship in our biological, as well as our chosen families. Chosen families can consist of many different friends, from multiple areas of an individual’s daily circles. Daily circles are not only composed of individuals we see face-to-face, but they are also composed of individuals we interact with online. In a study about Online Romantic Relationships and Friendships, by Melane Pilek, it is stated that “there are at least 5.44 billion internet users and one of the main reasons for going online is staying connected with friends and family and forming new connections.” (Pilek et al., 2025). The same article mentions that “the average internet user spends approximately 6.5 hours online, with chat and messaging apps, along with social networks, ranking among the most frequently utilized platforms.” (Pilek et al., 2025). As someone who is in Gen Z, who has had Instagram since the 6th grade, these statistics are not surprising at all. I am seeing more and more of my generation, and younger generations, become consumed by social media, and obsessed with perfecting their online personas. Due to the rise of social media platforms in younger generations, and with more users connecting with others via digital media, we find that our families are not our next-door neighbors, or even people who we went to the same high school with. They’re not always found in our co-workers, or even in relationships we build at the coffee shop five towns over.
Through the use of social media we can find individuals with our same interests, experiences, and values who live in other cities, states, and even countries. According to Zachary Lu, “social media has become deeply integrated into adolescents’ daily lives, serving as a crucial channel for self-expression and establishing social connections. Over 90% of U.S. adolescents use at least one social media platform daily.” (Lu et al., 2025). With social media use rates continuing to increase, in turn, online social connections skyrocket. The use of technology helps us to create, build, and maintain relationships through ICT. According to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), ICT is, “a diverse set of technological tools and resources used to transmit, store, create, share or exchange information.” (McManon et al., 2025). ICT can be seen when we make a phone or video call, text, or spend time on social media. ICT is the aspect of online communication with other individuals, which plays a vital role in building and maintaining long-distance relationships. While these relationships can be extremely rewarding and satisfactory it brings a certain question to light: Is it possible to maintain long-distance relationships?
The answer in short- yes. However, there are deeper questions we must ask ourselves in regard to the different facets of maintaining long-distance relationships. When examining the possibility of making long-distance relationships work, we must observe communication styles, communication efforts, and our individual wants and needs. Aspects such as affectionate communication play a role in long-distance relationships as it is more difficult to fulfill all of the needs. While affectionate communication can be defined in many different ways, according to Floyd there are, “three distinct categories of affectionate expressions, which eventually comprise the model of affectionate behavior: verbal communication, nonverbal communication, and indirect/supportive affection.” (Floyd, 2023). In long-distance nonverbal communication takes precedence as the main form of communication as you cannot be with the other person.
We can examine this emphasized version of nonverbal communication under the Social Information Processing Theory by Joseph Walther. This theory explains that while we are able to build meaningful relationships through technology and social media, it may take longer to get to that point because of the limited communication aspects. This theory emphasizes that relationship development happens gradually over time, in which individuals begin to disclose more information about themselves. When doing so in online forms, such as instant messages or chat rooms, individuals can be very selective with the type of information they choose to share and exactly how they decide to word that information. Online self-presentation can impact online relationship building as individuals are able to edit their messages or images. Individuals may also feel that the communication in online forums can be more intense or intimate as it becomes easier to share personal information about yourself when you are typing and storytelling to a screen.
In turn, long-distance relationships must emphasize verbal communication, which can be maintained through traditional phone calls, Facetime calls, or voice messages. The most difficult of these to maintain is indirect/supportive affection, as most individuals show support for others in traditional ways such as bringing someone flowers or lending them a helping hand. While long-distance relationships have a stigma for not working, there is a certain level of effort that is required by both parties to ensure positive relationship maintenance. Going back to the SDT, we can see people maintaining relationships through intrinsic and extrinsic motivators. However, one of these motivators positively impacts our mental health and the other can make us feel as though we are being forced to maintain communication efforts.
Technology plays a significant role in maintaining long-distance relationships. It is the main channel of communication in interpersonal long-distance relationships, therefore we rely on our phones, iPads, and laptops to be a part of our daily lives. We rely on apps like Facetime, Instagram, and text messages to be constantly at our disposal. With this reliance comes significant challenges, however at the end of the day, we can not ignore the positive role that technology has in keeping long-distance relationships today afloat.
Discussion Questions
- In your personal experience, do you believe technology makes it more difficult to manage valuable interpersonal relationships?
- How do you express affection to others through digital platforms?
- What do you think is the most important factor in maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship?
References
Benham-Clarke, S., Roberts, G., Janssens, A., & Newlove-Delgado, T. (2023). Healthy Relationship Education Programmes For Young People: Systematic Review of Outcomes. Pastoral Care in Education, 41(3), 266–288. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1080/02643944.2022.2054024
Floyd, K., Debrot, A., Horan, S. M., Hesse, C., & Woo, N. T. (2023). Affectionate Communication, Health, and Relationships. Personal Relationships, 30(1), 44–75. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1111/pere.12444
Lu, Z., Liu, Z., & Lin, D. (2025). The Association of Relative Deprivation, Interpersonal Relationships, and Problematic Social Media Use in 39 Countries/Regions: Does School Contextual Inequality Matter? Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 14(4), 1546–1562. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1556/2006.2025.00091
McMahon, M., Azios, J. H., Archer, B., Douglas, N. F., Strong, K., Simmons-Mackie, N., & Worralle, L. (2025). Using Digital Technology to Stay Connected With Friends After Aphasia. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 34, 3593–3610. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1044/2025_AJSLP-24-00395
Pilek, M., & de Saint Laurent, C. (2025). Dialogism and Meaning-Making in Online Romantic Relationships and Friendships. Journal of Constructivist Psychology, 38(4), 634–654. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1080/10720537.2024.2447520
Zhao, X., Ren, Z., & Xin, T. (2025). The Relationship Between Basic Psychological Need Satisfaction, Fear of Missing Out, and University Student Depression: A Two-Year Follow-Up Study. Behavioral Sciences (2076-328X), 15(10), 1379. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.3390/bs15101379
Managing Long Distance Relationships Through Technology 
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